1. What thesis statement are you working with?
2. Is this a good thesis statement or a bad thesis statement? Why?
3. Propose a better way to make a thesis statement for this topic that addresses the concerns in #2 (or, if you think your thesis statement is just fine the way it is, go into more detail about why you think this doesn't need revising).
Comment on this post; be prepared to discuss!
1-#6
ReplyDelete2- Bad, illogical because some nice people might also smoke marijuana, not just assholes. It is also offensive.
3-Marijuana deserves to be illegal because of the negative effects it has not only on the person smoking it, but to those around those who are smoking it.
I am working with thesis statement fourteen. It is a bad thesis statement because it attacks every other city saying it is not as good and it has swear words which should not be included in a thesis statement. A way to make it better could be saying LeBron James is better than Kobe because he scores more points per game and his team has a better record. That way it has facts instead of just your own personal opinion.
ReplyDeleteI am working with thesis statement # 12. This is a good thesis statement because there is many ways to argue this statement. You may agree or disagree and this will make a good argument.
ReplyDelete10.
ReplyDeleteBad because you cant just say there more fun you need a more clear cut on why they should be legalized.
A revised thesis for this would be: We need to legalize steroids in professional sports because it will put every player on a level playing field to compete against each other.
I'm working on thesis statement 1. This is a bad thesis statement because "their ads are funny" isn't a strong enough argument. It doesn't describe the product itself. They could use this argument in their paper but they should use a better thesis statement like Macs are better than PC's because of their outstanding quality.
ReplyDeleteThe end of the world is coming in 2012 and we're all going to die. This is an ok thesis because, it's too dark, but it is clear and straight to the point. A better thesis statement would be... In 2012 the world as we know it will come to an end, and we must be prepared.
ReplyDeletenumber eight.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good statement, because it is backed up by a few facts.
The statement i think can be better than it originally was.
"Live music, while loud, obnoxious, and sometimes, even heart throbbing, is better than listening to recorded music because it is socially fun, innovative, the-time-of-your-life moment, and has a better and higher quality to it."
"Lebron James is better than Kobe becuase this is Cleveland, mothaf*****" is a horrible thesis statement because it is just an opinion with no supporting facts. Personally I know no facts about cleveland other than I hate them because I want the Cletics to beat them. But the thing you can do is give clevelands ranking and Lebrons stats to support the thesis statemnent. Do not say mothaf***** in a thesis statement ever.
ReplyDeletethesis statement im working on- #4
ReplyDeleteThis is a terrible thesis statement because it is completely illogical. People assume that just because the Mians predicted the world would end years and years ago does not mean everyone will actually die in 2012.
im working with thesis number one. the thesis says that macs are better than PCs because their ads are funny. i think this thesis is no good because a computer cant be judged on just its advertising. there are other things that have to be taken into consideration like how well they run. which one has more memory and things like that. also many people could thing their ads are annoying. i would change this thesis to something like macs are better than pc because they work better.
ReplyDeleteI am working with the thesis statement eight. I believe it is a good thesis statement because it explains thouroughly why live music is better than recorded music. It is true that it is a higher quality due to the fact that the artist can put their own twist to the song and make it how they wanted to in the first place. The president of the company might have put the song the way they wanted and ignored the singer all together.
ReplyDelete- number 5
ReplyDelete- good thesis
- because the thesis gives more than one thing to elaborate on i think that the opinions they brought up in the thesis have plently of facts to back them up
-Number 11
ReplyDelete-The statement is alright it could be better worded.
- "The internet is not always a reliable source so books may be much better to get information from"
3,I think the thesis itself is dull and extremely boring. Although it is a good topic and makes a lot of sense, I challenge you to get in front of the class and talk about this topic without hearing crickets. Personally based off the thesis and just hearing it sounds like a lecture in the making and i wouldnt look forward to it at all. More importantly, I honestly wouldnt listen to a word being said of this. Try and spice it up a bit and use something like more humourus that grabs peoples attention like college students should attend class, because these many reasons..
ReplyDelete